|
By: Reeney - 2/06/04
Emo: an abbreviation for
a genre of music known as "emotional rock." Another definition of this
subgroup of music could be Singer/Songwriters who Have Inner Turmoil,
or as I like to abbreviate it, SHIT. As a side note I would like to
point out that all rock, or music for that matter, is emotional. Why
these bands set themselves apart and claim to have their own genre is
beyond me. Furthermore, they have the audacity to claim that their
music is so great that only they can deem themselves truly "emotional."
Besides lacking grace and creativity, these bands lack musical talent.
The guitar riffs are offensively simple and repetitive, the drum beats
could be replaced by a metronome, and let's face it, the singers have a
hard enough time singing on key, let alone trying to write decent
lyrics. Some people might find these bands "catchy" or "heartfelt" but
don't let them trick you into thinking they are musical geniuses.
Here's how the creative process goes. Some guy who just got dumped by
his girlfriend gets together with a bunch of his loser friends. One of
these friends has a guitar, which he barely knows how to play, and
another one of these friends has a brand new set of pots and pans,
which he considers to be a stellar drum kit. They sit around and swap
sob stories for a while, then one of them starts to cry and writes a
song about his ex-girlfriend, who probably dumped him for crying too
much in the first place. Now you may be saying, "Wow! This is a harsh
and unjustified generalization!" and perhaps it is, but my peeve lies
deeper than the music itself. One would think that a simple solution to
this would be to boycott "emo" records and keep my radio set to the
local classic rock station. But, my friend, the "emo" epidemic has
spread past the record companies and into our homes and lives of our
children. Let me ask you this: Have you or anyone you've known ever had
the pleasure of knowing an emo kid? Probably. The emo boys wear pants
that are too tight and usually cuffed at the ankle, a shirt that is two
sizes too small displaying the name of a band that was popular before
they were born, has ratty hair which he refuses to cut because that
would be "conforming," wears black thick rimmed glasses that probably
don't even have a prescription in them, oh, and of course he will be
wearing a backpack decorated with an assortment of pins or "buttons"
with clever slogans or bands names on them. The emo girls cut their
hair short and spike it out in the back, they too wear the glasses, too
much jewelry, too much eyeliner, and clothes that probably belong to
their twelve year old sister. Every emo kid I meet claims to be "so
different from everyone else" when in fact, if they had only pulled
their head out of their ass for a sheer second, they would realize that
all of their friends look exactly like them! More annoying than that,
is that they force their views upon you and feel the need to explain to
you why they are depressed and why emo is "the best music ever," and if
you are listening to anything else, you may as well kill yourself
because you will never experience true euphoria.
The problem is that these kids have nothing to be upset about. Ten
times out of ten they reside in schnazzy suburbian homes, have a full
ride to college, and yes! Have loving parents and friends that would do
anything for them. Why, may I ask, you are fucking depressed? You have
a broken heart you say? Yeah, well join the club. This is life, and
shit happens. You don't need a style or music genre to define who you
are, take a minute and think for yourself. Be who you want to be and do
what you want to do because you only have one life to live and that's
your own, and guess what, it's happening right now! I don't care if you
listen to the atrocity that is "emo" but keep it out of my face. And I
don't care what you wear, walk around in a clown suit if you like, but
don't feel the need to buy certain things and dress certain ways to
impress your peers and create the delusion that you have found your
"identity," because in reality, what you have found my friend, is a
great marketing scheme that you have inadvertently been sucked into.
Deal with it. Now, if you consider yourself "emo" in every sense of the
word and think I'm a heartless bitch who is unlawfully attacking your
personal thoughts, beliefs, and music taste, well then feel free to
cry. I have a jar right here for you. You can put the tear in the jar
and then wear it around your neck so it will always be close to your
heart. Then you can write a song about it. I've got the ad clipping
right here:
|
