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Sal vs The Girl from the Woods

Article By: Sal - 6/25/04

Ben’s on vacation, but that’s all right, because my Jersey Report is pretty frickin’ weird. One night, I’m hanging out with two good friends of mine, Stacey and Chris, and we decide to take in a flick. Stacey specifically requested a “low key evening.” Therefore, I figured we’d rent a kick ass movie. And of course, what better way to celebrate a low-key night than to watch The Usual Suspects? I stopped by my local Hollywood Video (where I owe more than a thousand dollars in late fees) and picked up the DVD. I got home, and waited for Stacey and Chris to arrive.

Fifteen minutes later, around 11:15 at night, there was a knock on my glass front door. I wondered who it could be, since if you know me, you know to enter through the back door. I went to the hallway and saw a twenty-two year-old girl standing at the door. She was all wet, shaking, and bleeding. I ran to the door and she told me her name, that she thinks she had an accident, and asked if she could have some water. At that exact moment, Chris and Stacey arrived in my driveway, and being that I didn’t want to panic her, I asked her to sit down and let my two friends comfort her while I got her water (and called the police). To protect the girl (not my friends, what do they care?), we’ll call her “Allison.” I turned to Stacey and Chris, who had just noticed the girl on my front steps, and said, “Chris, Stacey, this is Allison. She’s new here. Would you please talk to her for a moment?”

I ran inside and got her some water. Chris and Stacey led Allison inside and sat her down at my kitchen table. We gave her some water, and found out her full name, and that she was coming from Home Depot on Route 23, and did not remember anything after that. It would seem that she had a car accident and walked through the woods and saw my house’s lights and came to the door. At this point, Stacey offered that Allison change her shirt, since she seemed very uncomfortable. I ran upstairs, and not having much time to select a shirt I might never see again, I grabbed the nearest T-shirt (my Superman T-shirt) and brought it downstairs. She changed in the bathroom and came back out to sit down. After about fifteen minutes, the police leisurely arrived. I met them outside so as not to startle Allison, and introduced them in my kitchen. There were two officers. One was probably in his late thirties, early forties, and the other looked about twenty-three. The first officer, the older one, left his flashlight on while he questioned Allison about the whereabouts of her car, the mental state she was in, and how much she had to drink that night. Before she had another fit, the paramedics arrived and asked her more questions.

From here it was the typical medical emergency. The EMS team arrived, asked some questions, gave her an IV, and took her to the hospital. The poor girl seemed so upset and confused, but we did our best to make her feel comfortable. I called the hospital the next morning to make sure she was O.K., and they informed me that she was released with her father that morning, and she was “fine.”

I think the valuable lesson we all learned from this ordeal, was to never claim to want a “low-key evening.” At least, let’s never go to my house after having made such a proclamation.

Fun facts about this “low-key evening” we had:

1. A little over a year before, Chris, Stacey, and myself (along with Ben and Irene) were involved in, yet another, 9-1-1 emergency in my kitchen that involved the police and paramedics.

2. There was someone recklessly driving a car up my road about an hour prior to this incident, resulting in a knocked-over rock wall farther down the road. No car was found on my road, nor reported to come back down at any point that evening.

3. “Allison” had no shoes, so she walked through my woods barefooted.

4. My parents slept through the entire ordeal.


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