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Vacationing in Dixie

By: Mechanic Jay - 3/19/05

So, I just spent a week on vacation on Hilton Head Island, SC. It was cold and rainy the whole week which kinda blew. Actually, it was warmer in Jersey all week, than in was down there. So that really blew. Regardless it was fun to get away, but that is not the point. I made a couple of observations about the South.

1) When I walk into a store, someone always says, "Hi, how y'all doin’ today?"

-- WTF? I just wanna look around, don't keep talking to me. I keep thinking they're gonna tell me I have a booger or something. It puts you on your guard, like, "what!?! What do you want from me????"

2) When I leave a store, someone always says: "Y'all come back and see us again now."

- Please see above comments on unsolicited talking at me. Also,”see us again now?" That doesn't even make sense!!

3) Everyone is just too friendly in general. Always saying "Excuse me" when they bump into you, and giving you the right of way on the road, I must say it confuses me.

My final thought on this matter is:

After being on the road for 13 hours, we stopped at the Woodrow Wilson Service Area around Exit 5 on the Turnpike. I went to the bathroom, and chose a stall, due to the fact that, despite the newly renovated facility, they still decided to place the urinals approximately 3 feet from the wall, with no dividers between them. Anyway, once in the stall I saw 3 things which I realized I had not seen in a week.

1) The whole stall had a full coat of pee all over it.

2) There was a note on the door that read, "For a good blowjob call...." and then a number

3) On the wall, there was another note that read, "Help! My penis is soooo small!" And another one below that, "Poor white guy."

This made me realize...that while the south is a nice place to visit...there’s no place like home.


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