You're in the




Old Articles

 Drug Policy
 Instant Messaging
 Back-Up Boyfriends
 Ray Romano
 Laser Vision



By: Reeney - 2/06/04

Emo: an abbreviation for a genre of music known as "emotional rock." Another definition of this subgroup of music could be Singer/Songwriters who Have Inner Turmoil, or as I like to abbreviate it, SHIT. As a side note I would like to point out that all rock, or music for that matter, is emotional. Why these bands set themselves apart and claim to have their own genre is beyond me. Furthermore, they have the audacity to claim that their music is so great that only they can deem themselves truly "emotional." Besides lacking grace and creativity, these bands lack musical talent. The guitar riffs are offensively simple and repetitive, the drum beats could be replaced by a metronome, and let's face it, the singers have a hard enough time singing on key, let alone trying to write decent lyrics. Some people might find these bands "catchy" or "heartfelt" but don't let them trick you into thinking they are musical geniuses.

Here's how the creative process goes. Some guy who just got dumped by his girlfriend gets together with a bunch of his loser friends. One of these friends has a guitar, which he barely knows how to play, and another one of these friends has a brand new set of pots and pans, which he considers to be a stellar drum kit. They sit around and swap sob stories for a while, then one of them starts to cry and writes a song about his ex-girlfriend, who probably dumped him for crying too much in the first place. Now you may be saying, "Wow! This is a harsh and unjustified generalization!" and perhaps it is, but my peeve lies deeper than the music itself. One would think that a simple solution to this would be to boycott "emo" records and keep my radio set to the local classic rock station. But, my friend, the "emo" epidemic has spread past the record companies and into our homes and lives of our children. Let me ask you this: Have you or anyone you've known ever had the pleasure of knowing an emo kid? Probably. The emo boys wear pants that are too tight and usually cuffed at the ankle, a shirt that is two sizes too small displaying the name of a band that was popular before they were born, has ratty hair which he refuses to cut because that would be "conforming," wears black thick rimmed glasses that probably don't even have a prescription in them, oh, and of course he will be wearing a backpack decorated with an assortment of pins or "buttons" with clever slogans or bands names on them. The emo girls cut their hair short and spike it out in the back, they too wear the glasses, too much jewelry, too much eyeliner, and clothes that probably belong to their twelve year old sister. Every emo kid I meet claims to be "so different from everyone else" when in fact, if they had only pulled their head out of their ass for a sheer second, they would realize that all of their friends look exactly like them! More annoying than that, is that they force their views upon you and feel the need to explain to you why they are depressed and why emo is "the best music ever," and if you are listening to anything else, you may as well kill yourself because you will never experience true euphoria.

The problem is that these kids have nothing to be upset about. Ten times out of ten they reside in schnazzy suburbian homes, have a full ride to college, and yes! Have loving parents and friends that would do anything for them. Why, may I ask, you are fucking depressed? You have a broken heart you say? Yeah, well join the club. This is life, and shit happens. You don't need a style or music genre to define who you are, take a minute and think for yourself. Be who you want to be and do what you want to do because you only have one life to live and that's your own, and guess what, it's happening right now! I don't care if you listen to the atrocity that is "emo" but keep it out of my face. And I don't care what you wear, walk around in a clown suit if you like, but don't feel the need to buy certain things and dress certain ways to impress your peers and create the delusion that you have found your "identity," because in reality, what you have found my friend, is a great marketing scheme that you have inadvertently been sucked into. Deal with it. Now, if you consider yourself "emo" in every sense of the word and think I'm a heartless bitch who is unlawfully attacking your personal thoughts, beliefs, and music taste, well then feel free to cry. I have a jar right here for you. You can put the tear in the jar and then wear it around your neck so it will always be close to your heart. Then you can write a song about it. I've got the ad clipping right here:


Copyright 2004-2006, Jason Howe & Sal Crivelli All Rights Reserved.
All other images not specifically created by SMBFC.Net staff are Registered, Trademarked and Copyright to their respective properties.